Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Christians, co-workers, evangelicals, fish, lard, Mail, more lard, spam mail, technology
Thank you for your evangelical spam, my dear Colleague. Those trite, lukewarm words so impersonally sent to me in your extra large font and the inspiring rainbow colours have swayed me, shown me the error of my ways and resulted in a complete shift in my belief system; one I thought was no longer in flux, having been examined, re-examined, debated, deconstructed and whored.
I am indeed now ready for the Lord, his saviour Son, and his’ insubstantial friend’ (to quote de Bernierre) the Holy Ghost. Indeed i am saved, and so easily it turned out, by a wonderful story of the shaggy dog genre that remains elusive in revealing whether it was written for or by wellmeaning, but pimply 12 year olds.
How great my hubris, believing that having spent most of my life in search of truth in one form or the other, I would be at a fair distance down the road of agnosticism and these premises should now be more or less stable and I would continue to find confirmation and supporting evidence further cementing my beliefs. How great my fall, from high in my lofty castle of lies and misguided philosophies down to the cold damp ground of moral uncertainty and confusion, to be allowed to be bathed in the light of your carelessly forwarded Ariel 36pt wisdom.
I repent, Dear friend, I repent the arrogance of my daring to have a belief structure different to yours, to refuse the living Christ into my life, to have not taken every word you said down in my soul and cherished the efforts you made to save me from myself.
Hmm.
While you have embraced both the Light of our saviour and high-speed internet, along with their dividends, it seems I am lacking in both. And while I cannot clearly accept your god, your technology I will embrace, as is evidenced below in my new mailbox rule and I hope you at least find comfort and a sense of accomplishment in my transformation you have so successfully catalysed.
the evangelical defence
When your god develops mailbox rules, let’s talk.
2 Comments so far
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Just remember to add the word “savior” to your wordlist. some e-vangelists(tm) use non-English spelling and grammar rules
Comment by Suchetha March 31, 2010 @ 10:41 amstop swaying!
you will get sea sick
I think shrine worship counts! There is enough spiritual upliftment there to save us for a few more lifetimes.
All hail the shrine!
Comment by shyam May 4, 2010 @ 7:47 am